Q. Dear Abby: I’m attending a wedding in a few months. The bride has requested that all female guests not wear heels because they’re a short couple. I don’t have any flats that will go with my dress, so I will have to either buy new shoes or “disappoint” the bride.
I’ve been hearing stories about wedding guests being told what colors to wear. I think brides (and couples) like this are going too far. What do you think? — Put Out in British Columbia
A. Dear Put Out: I think that if the bridal couple would like to feel a few inches taller on their big day, and buying a new pair of shoes would stretch your budget, you should consider having an old pair of flats dyed to match your dress, or skip the festivities and send your good wishes.http://www.kansascity.com/2012/12/16/3966510/dear-abby-husband-buys-cards-for.html
The columnist wasn't asked to address the heightist issues in this letter, so I can't really fault her for her answer.
The request of the couple in question just fills me with pity for them. How sad to be so beaten down by heightist prejudice that you feel the need to make believe that you are taller on your 'special day'. Did they arrive at this decision by themselves or were they pressured into it by family members or friends? I can just imagine someone say 'Have you thought about your wedding photographs? You don't want everyone to notice how short you are, you'd better get the guests to all wear flat shoes'.
As we are not hearing from the couple directly we'll never know exactly what their motivations are but I can't imagine they are good.
I wish that the couple could just be happy in their own bodies. I was encouraged to wear heals for my own wedding to confirm to the sexist and heightist idea that longer legs are attractive and the only acceptable costume for brides. I refused because heals make me incredibly uncomfortable and make walking difficult and I refused to have sore feet on my wedding day. In the event I wore a pair of flat shoes and I never looked back.
This is just another reminder of why we in the anti-heightism movement do what we do.
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